Step One: Noticing is the First Step

We’re all different. Each one of us has a unique situation and different experiences that make up who we are today. Even during the course of a day our wants and needs, emotions and thoughts fluctuate moment to moment. We can wake up feeling tired and then maybe anxiety will rush in, the feeling of hunger hits us, we experience a moment of joy and a burst of energy which might move to the feeling of sadness or heaviness. 

 We tend to distract ourselves from our physical sensations and our thoughts. This makes sense because some of the physical sensations, emotions and thoughts are uncomfortable. Maybe we weren’t taught how to handle those uncomfortable feelings as children or maybe we feel that we just don’t have the energy or capacity to handle those distressing feelings in our day. While the reason might be different for each person, distraction is a tool – sometimes it is helpful, sometimes it is not –  we all use to not experience our physical sensations and thoughts. 

When noticing becomes our first step, it allows us to make a different choice. We can still choose to distract our self from the present sensations and thoughts through our method of choice at that moment (Netflix, food, alcohol, work etc) OR we can notice what we need in that moment (what that emotion is trying to tell us, what purpose those thoughts are serving) and choose to take care of our self and that need. Being in tune with our self and taking care of our self moment-to-moment will help us move in the direction we want to go. 

Noticing takes practice. A lot of practice! And we can start with bringing the practice of noticing into every part of our day. The more we practice it, the easier it will become. 

Noticing can also feel really difficult. When we are used to distracting ourselves from our experiences, noticing can feel uncomfortable and even scary at times. If you’re finding it difficult, counselling can be a place to explore this and practice. Your counsellor can help support you through the practice of noticing in a way that will be just right for you. 

Noticing is the first step. From there we can practice naming our feelings and then feeling our emotions without distraction. Feeling our emotions will give us the chance to identify what our body is trying to tell is important. Once we identify our need we can take action on it. I’ll elaborate more on the rest of these steps in future blog posts!

Try it out: Start with noticing everything! Notice your surroundings. What shape is the building or tree in front of you? What colours do you see? Notice all the different sounds around you. Notice what the food in your mouth feels and tastes like. Is the temperature around you cool or warm?